brunette in Chat

Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.

Sam and Abe, now in their eighties, first met in grade school. Their relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.

One day Sam calls Abe and says, "I bet you that mine is longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars..."

Abe replies, "How can that be? If you know anything about biology you...."

Sam interrupts, "I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine is longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars... YES OR NO?"

Abe says, "OK, OK. I'll take that bet. How long is yours soft?"

Sam answers, "Eleven years!"

There were these two best friends out playing golf one beautiful day. After hitting their tee shots, both noticed that neither was even close to the fairway. One friend hit it way left, the other way right.

They decided that since the shots were so bad, they'd just meet up at the hole.

So the first guy went off and looked and looked and finally found his ball sitting down deep in a field of beautiful Buttercups. He promptly pulled out his 7 iron and started whacking away. Buttercups were flying everywhere, but the ball wouldn't come out.

Well, finally Mother Nature got mad.

She came up from the ground and said to the man, "I've created this beautiful field of Buttercups and you have no respect for them at all, now they are ruined. I'm going to have to punish you. Since these are Buttercups, your punishment is that you cannot have butter for a year."

The man started to laugh and went back to whacking at the Buttercups.

Mother Nature said, "Hey, this is no laughing matter. What do you find so funny?"

The man looked up and said, "My buddy is over on the other side in the Pussywillows."

Happy Valentine's Day Glitter Graphics

No-strings sex with a stranger can sometimes be hard to find, despite the large number of horny singles sitting at home on a street near you right at this very moment. Fortunately, the internet provides each and every one of us -- no matter what our looks or charm -- with the opportunity to "sell" ourselves online to a suitable (or completely unsuitable, as the case may be) woman, man or “other.” Finding casual sex partners is now far easier than ever before, but don’t get complacent; you have some hard virtual yards to cross first.
Here are some tips on finding casual sex partners online.
Step 1
Get an identity. To help you out, women want to find someone attractive, funny, intelligent, interesting, and fun to be around. First impressions last the longest; your profile is your sole 30 seconds at most, and the image is the first 20. When it comes to finding casual sex partners online, you won’t get any second chances, so make it good. 
Step 2
Get Online. There are various dating sites where people all over the globe offer themselves up for all sorts of things, like finding a casual sex partner. Start off by signing yourself up on the various websites. You will need to fill out your profile and some questionnaires and/or quizzes to help women identify if you are interesting to them or not. 
Step3
Get Chatting. Essentially, the “if you knock on 10 doors, one will (theoretically) open” protocol works here. So, get knockin’. This means e-mailing or messaging women, expressing your interest in getting to know them better. Don’t expect to be welcomed with open legs by every woman you talk to, and make sure you put your best foot forward, and not in your mouth. Be charming, funny and keep some mystery about you -- finding a casual sex partner is not about getting to know each other’s favorite food, color and pets’ names.  
Step 4
Go dating. When you feel the time is right, ask a woman you have built up a rapport and mutual interest with on a date in a public place. These dates will be when you eventually get laid.

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00 and 3 years of research, they concluded that it was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of $76.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him on the forehead.

WASHINGTON - A new brain-scan study may help explain what's going on in the minds of financial titans when they take risky monetary gambles.

Surprise! - it's SEX .

University researchers report that when young men were shown erotic pictures, they were more likely to make a larger financial gamble than if they were shown a picture of something scary, such a snake, or something neutral, such as a stapler.

The arousing pictures lit up the same part of the brain that lights up when financial risks are taken.

The study is the work of a Northwestern University finance professor and a Stanford University psychologist.

Their research appears in the current edition of the peer-reviewed journal NeuroReport.

"You have a need in an evolutionary sense for both money and women. They trigger the same brain area," said Camelia Kuhnen, the Northwestern professor.

The study only involved 15 heterosexual young men at Stanford University. It focused on the sex and money hub, the V-shaped nucleus accumbens, which sits near the base of the brain and plays a central role in what you experience as pleasure.

When that hub was activated by the erotic images, the men were far more likely to bet high on a random chance game that would earn them either a dollar or a dime. Each man made more than 50 gambles under brain scans.

Stanford psychologist Brian Knutson, a lead author of the study, says it's all about the power of emotion and arousal and our financial decisions. The trigger doesn't have to be sex - it could be chocolate or a winning lottery ticket.

"It didn't matter if the sexy woman didn't tell you anything about the odds of winning a roulette game," Knutson said. "What really matters is that the sexy woman is having an emotional impact. That bleeds over into your financial decisions."

Kuhnen said the same link could hold true for women, but they didn't test it because it is more difficult to find an erotic image that would appeal to many different heterosexual women compared to heterosexual men.

The link between sex and greed goes back hundreds of thousands of years, to men's evolutionary role as provider or resource gatherer to attract women, said Kevin McCabe, professor of economics, law and neuroscience at George Mason University, who wasn't part of the study.

"Risk-taking is a natural way of increasing your relative success, but, of course, there's a downside to it, what we're seeing right now in the economy," McCabe said.

The results of the study jibe with the real life on the trading floor, said Phil Flynn, a former Chicago commodities floor trader and current analyst at Alaron Trading Corp.

"I'm not shocked that it may be part of the deal," Flynn said Friday. "When you talk about all the euphemisms for trading (on the floor), they can be used for sex as well."

("Massaging the market" and "hardcore" were about the cleanest that he and his colleagues could come up with.)

The study conforms with recent research that indicates men shown a pornographic movie were more likely to make riskier sexual decisions. Another suggests straight men think less about their financial future after being shown pictures of pretty women.

One still-to-be-published study at Harvard University found a link between higher testosterone levels and financial risk-taking.

But the study conducted at Stanford, funded by the National Institutes of Health, went deeper, using functional magnetic resonance imaging machines. It's part of a new but growing field called neuroeconomics that attempts to take the hard-wired science of brain biology and mix it with the softer sciences of psychology and economics to figure out why we make the financial decisions we do.

An earlier study by the same team found that the brain's reward area lit up at about the same time as risky decision-making.

The erotic pictures experiment was designed to find which was the cause and which was the effect. The answer: Lighting up the reward area, in this case with soft-core pictures, caused the risk-taking, Kuhnen said.

"The more activation there you have, the more prone you are to taking more risk," Kuhnen said. "It could be a feedback loop."

The flip side was that the photos of snakes and spiders activated the portion of the brain often associated with pain, fear and anger. And those people were more likely to bet low.

This all makes sense to Harvard economist Terry Burnham, author of the book "Mean Genes." Burnham said it could be all summed up in a famous line from the movie "Scarface."

"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."

(by Seth Borenstein, the associated press)

The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.

"We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably.

"I'm sure we´ll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her.

"If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table."

"Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby.